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so about 2 hours in the past i took my first MD utilizing golden trainer, at .2g. a bit beneficiant, as i do know most begin out at .1g, however after twiddling with the capsules i used to be making incessantly, i figured i’d go forward and roll with the .2g. i additionally was identified with borderline character dysfunction earlier this 12 months and now have actually fucking unhealthy nervousness, thus my reasoning for attempting MD. so right here’s my expertise so far…
holy. fucking. shit. complete recreation changer! i did discover a really delicate improve of sensitivity with my senses (additionally to notice i’ve by no means used psychedelics previous to this) and a wave of calmness taking on me. i’ve had horrific panic assaults daily this previous week, in addition to maxing out on my buspar and STILL feeling anxious. nevertheless, after across the 45 min mark i lastly skilled the wave of reduction i had been dying to really feel.
after about 10 minutes of having fun with the relief accompanied by one and solely youtube offered rain sounds LMAO i really started to tear up. this was the primary true little bit of reduction i’ve felt in SO lengthy. it made me really feel so wonderful. i can’t emphasize sufficient how wonderful reduction feels after months of hysteria ridden torture. i lastly had that feeling of “you understand what, issues are going to be okay, take a breath, will probably be alright.”
i do know as somebody with borderline, MDing can produce a whirlwind of various experiences however i’m so so so so glad mine has been optimistic so far. i do know it’s solely my first time however i already really feel infinitely higher solely from the calmness it has given me. i’m so grateful!!
i hope to proceed MDing for months to return. cheers to all of the newbies and fellow borderlines!! and thanks to everybody serving to out on this thread!!